WTF - Girls Gone Wild

Really? Are they really that wild anymore? I personally don't think so. We are now ten years removed from the first Girls Gone Wild production, which means that if you partake of their latest late-night DVD offering (Finally 18), you are choking the bishop to girls who were eight years old when the first video premiered... on VHS no less (not to be mistaken for Girls With Crimped Hair Run On Beaches Topless Wearing Ubiquitous 80's Sunglasses... which premiered in 1981 on Betamax).

My point, if any, is this: The concept of "wild" is being tossed around too lightly these days. These girls are barely old enough to take unnecessary MySpace pictures of themselves, let alone develop a true respect and admiration for the meaning of wild. I mean, if "wild" means getting drunk and taking your top off, I know a guy at the soup kitchen who wakes up that way every morning, so where's his payoff Joseph R. Francis? And HE screams random obscenities at passing cars, which in and of itself is totally worth $9.95 - with additional craziness arriving every month thereafter at $19.95, cancel anytime.

But I digress, back to the concept of wild. What happened to wild being the definition of something in it's natural and untouched state. Something completely unmolested by mankind ... or priests. Wild and free, much like the predators of the Serengeti:



There we go, that's what I'm talking about. Wild baby!

Still, there exists the idea that "wild" means something "marked by extreme lack of restraint or control". Makes sense to me, and these young ladies are definitely candidates for the "wild" moniker they claim. But by now, after these last ten years, their actions are at best premeditated, and at worst just an example of using inebriation as an excuse to act in ways one might not under normal circumstances. And is this really a lack of restraint and/or control? Not really. If they really were girls gone wild, I'd expect much more of this:



Yeah! Cannibalism and human sacrifice! Now we're talking. Lets see the pledge class of Delta Delta Delta down a few pony's of Natty Light and try some old school ritualistic people eating. Get drunk, grab something blunt, sharp, or projectile and just go effin' nuts.

And that, my friend, will then truly be Girls Gone Wild!

Thank you and goodnight,
The Jim