WTF! - Random Movie Computer Noises

Alright, I've had about enough of this. Now I understand many years ago the personal computer was not something the average person had access to in their home. These monstrous things often took up many rooms and required a shit ton of punch cards to operate properly. And by operate properly I mean to perform the basic function of a TI-82.Now given that the computer was a thing of privilege to even be near, it meant that the best means by which to experience this new technology was through television or the movies. Enter the realm of science fiction. I love science fiction, and who doesn't to some extent. In all classic sci-fi you'll see ships with computers and all sorts of futuristic technology, and with all those exciting things came wondrous sounds. *Beep* *Boop* *Whoosh* *Etc*

My question is, at which point will media realize that we know computers don't make cool sound effects every single time you use them? When I'm watching a film or television program set in the future, I'm ready to allow a certain suspension of disbelief. However, when your film or TV show is set in present time, I don't need unnecessary and entirely unbelievable effects for every move your mouse pointer makes. Clicks, beeps, whooshes of windows as you maximize and minimize. Save it for the explosions and the gunshots and mostly for the foley artists. They need a paycheck! You're not fooling anybody! I'm on a computer right now and it's not making any noise! Look, I'm switching tabs in Firefox, now I'm closing a window, and now I've pressed the Start button! And yet I hear no cacauphony of sound, simply the clattering of my keys and the wrinkling of my brow as my disenfranchised heart wonders why Microsoft didn't include those very sound effects in my copy of Windows XP. Maybe they're Vista exclusive... that must be it.

But really, knock it off.

Have a great weekend, talk to you all soon!

Jimmy

Rest in peace Bill Melendez

Well, it had to happen sometime. 91 year old animator Bill Melendez, the only man authorized by Charles Schultz to animate his beloved Peanuts characters, had passed away. Cause of death is as yet unreported, but my guess is that it had something to do with him being NINETY ONE YEARS OLD. Once you pass 80, public interest as to the ins and outs of your passage should be less than zero. I think you're allowed a mulligan as a medical professional when you're dealing with a patient one order of magnitude older than you.

All things aside, Melendez represents a dying breed of American animation. These days it's all storyboards shipped overseas to the magical realm of Asia. Who could ever recreate that perfect Snoopy dance, or the dust around Pigpen so eloquently. Not I. Now I'm not one to compare past to present, the stuff Pixar is churning out is pure gold in terms of animation and story. That being said, Christmas just simply isn't Christmas without Charlie Brown. Rest in peace Bill, you are truly timeless.

Fun Fact: In case you did not know, when the schedule for completing A Charlie Brown Christmas ran too tight, Melendez filled in as the voice for Snoopy. As a result he would reprise that role for all the Peanuts series, specials, and full-length pictures.

One last thing: Just between you and me, it's about goddamn time somebody passed on who wasn't black. I was getting pretty darn tired of seeing a prominent African-American male dying every week or so.


I mean this most sincerely when I say that this is not the trifecta of ethnicity-matching deaths I was looking for. Although Isaac Hayes belief in Scientology worried me a little, you can't deny the man's talent. Besides, he was Chef so you have to love him for that. And Bernie Mac had such great stage presence. Leroi, what can I say, that just effin' sucks. Always been a huge DMB fan and it is very sad to see you go. Bartender.

Just for the record here is the trifecta of ethnicity-matching deaths I was looking for:


Sooooo eeeevvviill.
If you stare at them long enough and say George W. Bush three times in a row, homeland security will ship you off to Guantanamo Bay.




Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

Bristol Palin for $1000 Alex.

Here's the answer: This Republican Vice Presidential Nominee's seventeen year old daughter enjoys drinking heavily, getting knocked up, and basically living a life which runs a course diametrically opposed to the ultra-conservative Christian family value platform currently being whored around the GOP convention by her mother.

Click Click Click Click Click Click Click Click Click Click Click Click Click Click Click Click (fuckin' buzzer) Click Click Click Click Click Click

Yes Mr. Jimmy?

Who is Bristol Palin?

That's right... money.


Just to set the record straight I have nothing against underage drinking, it's not for me but if that's really what you want to do to have a good time and you have access to the stuff, knock yourself out. Just have a sober wingman and don't do anything stupid like driving or skydiving. Likewise if you end up with an unwanted pregnancy and choose to keep the baby, go for it. I know, I know, you really might not have understood the consequences of your actions at your young and delicate age, but to be totally honest with you, neither did your parents. Just own it, accept the consequences and work hard at it and you'll be fine.

However, if you should happen to be the daughter of Sarah Palin, I have no remorse for you. Yes, you are about to be dragged through the mud by the press. Yes, your mother will have to put a beautiful Republican spin on how you're "keeping the baby" (pro-life) and how you plan on "marrying the father" (family values). But to hell with this whole idea of say one thing and do another. It's really beyond ridiculous already. I can't even articulate how absolutely careless and shallow a decision has been made here. And I'm just talking about McCain. More to come on your douchebag of a baby daddy next time around. Seacrest out!

Video of the Day

Man, I had almost forgotten about this one. If you're a fan of Robot Chicken, and I know you are (or should be), than you are most familiar with this clip. By far one of their greatest, we find an everyday giraffe who happens to discover his fate in the strangest of ways. All of us face our deaths eventually, but a small percentage of us have the opportunity to come to terms with it before we shuffle off this mortal coil. In a little over a minute and a half, this poor bastard manages to do both. Enjoy!

Away to Roswell

Well, it's your friendly neighborhood spiderJim saying hey from UFO central, Roswell, NM. Honestly I can't say I've seen anything unusual, although we hit this raccoon on the way back to the hotel from McDonald's. Just here for the Labor day weekend playing a concert with the Roswell Symphony Orchestra. Should be back in home sweet home soon enough. Hey CJ_ATC, don't you think for one second that I don't totally appreciate your posts. In this blog's youth it means a great deal. Goodnight cruel world!