In the News Today

Today's hot story:

(CNN) -- Germany will beat Argentina in Saturday's World Cup quarter-final, at least if an octopus called Paul is to be believed.  And if you're unsure whether to accept the word of an eight-legged sea creature, Paul has form. The octopus, who lives at an aquarium in Germany, has correctly predicted all four results of that country's games in the tournament, according to staff.
Before Sunday's game against England Paul needed just eight seconds to make up his mind, but in view of the tougher challenge that Diego Maradona's side will pose Germany, he took over an hour to decide, suggesting it could go to extra-time or even penalties.

Staff at Sea Life in Oberhausen, western Germany, help Paul make his prediction by lowering into his tank two boxes of food, one carrying a German flag and the other bearing that of their opponents. The case he opens first is adjudged to be his predicted winner.  The octopus correctly predicted Germany would beat Ghana and Australia in their Group D matches, but he disagreed with land-based pundits by tipping Serbia in their match. They went on to win 1-0.

And even though Paul was born in England, he went against his roots to predict Germany's emphatic last-16 rout of his own country.

Paul will be following the rest of the World Cup closely, a Sea Life spokesman told CNN, and will make more predictions as the tournament reaches its climax.

But before you blow your savings on Paul's tips be warned: Most bookmakers have Argentina as favorites on Saturday, and Paul's success rate for the European Championships in 2008 was only 80 percent.

So there you have it.  An octopus choosing the winner of Germany's world cup matches.  What they don't tell you is this: that octopus' owner is Rudolph Mengele, nephew of Holocaust "death angel" and all around douchenozzle Josef Mengele.

That's right, my friends, that poor fellow slinking around randomly choosing world cup teams is really BERTHOLD EPSTEIN! Former pediatrician/assistant, now destined to live out his days a slimy invertebrate, the result of Mengele's medical experiments gone wrong. 

Oh, the horror...

But really, I guess I'm pulling for Argentina... don't really care.  Also Maradona's kind of a pompous ass.

A Day in the Life - AT-AT style...

Most of my experience with the AT-AT can be summed up in the first act of The Empire Strikes Back.  Looming on the horizon, these leathargic death dealers emphasized fear over function.  Moving at a snails pace, and focusing all their offense to the bow, they were wonderous to view as a child, and mostly an impractical concept as an adult.

But how could one forget the childhood desire to own the action figure?  There it was in all its molded plastic glory, mocking my poverty.  Damn you Kenner, you rat bastards!

Here's a fresh take on the concept, and a great one at that.



And for what it's worth, we had a Rancor.  Suck on that, shattered childhood Christmas wishes!

7 Fortnights, give or take a day….

Well, fuck.  Could I have waited any longer to update this stupid ass blog?  I think not.  For days and weeks, every night started out the same.  “Tonight, I’m going to write,” I’d say.

To the right: This 3-month old fetus helps represent my laziness in lumpy, abortable form.  My laziness being abortable, not the fetus… unless that’s your choice… in which case have at it….

Did it happen, of course not.  Why?  I’ll tell you why.  I wake up, work, and come home same as most.  When I walk through the door, there’s Caitlyn just hanging out.  She sees me and her eyes light up and from there its pretty much over.  We play, we read, we eat dinner, and then she’s off to bed.  Once she’s down for the night, I steal a couple of hours to myself, and by this time, my strong intent has faded into fleeting desire.  After catching up with the Ms. and taking in the latest TV, Internet, and gaming offerings, I’m often so asleep that I don’t have time to regret my decision.

Wash, rinse, repeat.  The next day I’m at work before I realize I’m not asleep anymore.

Sprinkle in a few symphony concerts and an active extended-family social schedule, and there’s not a whole lot of time left for the little things in life.  Still, it’s just been far too long, and I’m not going to let this thing dry up.  Use it or lose it, as the saying goes.

So enough caterwauling about health care, there’s so much more to discuss.  For one, I need a new banner, this one’s getting old.  I’d also like to maybe start a podcast every once in a great while, too.  Let’s just say my dreams exceed my potential here… but who knows, right?

So as I sit here, mostly nude, in front of my lonely monitor drinking Orange Crush (good song) at 12:00 am on the 1st of July… game on!

-Jimmy