Here we go with the Top 10 Things You REALLY Never Want to Hear from Your Mother:
10. You should see the size of this crap!
9. You're adopted.
8. Your going to be gay, just like your father.
7. No, really, this thing is sticking out of the water on both ends!
6. Remember all that stuff about Noah, God, and how Jesus loves you? Yeah, that was just a running bet your father and I had. Now go tell your father he owes me 20 bucks.
5. Put the oxygen mask on dear, everything is going to be fine. It's just a little turbulence.
4. Your father passed away last night ... SIKE!
3. If it's not too much trouble, can your father and I borrow your gerbil tonight?
2. No, seriously, this thing must weigh at least six pounds. I'm not joking when I say it has its own circulatory system.
And last but not least.
1. It's your baby.
My humblest apologies to mothers everywhere. Goodnight.
Today's video is a classic. And by classic I mean it was released in 2000, which is about the time I saw the commercial online. I remember laughing my ass off then and it still holds a funny little spot in my heart (unless that's just a fat deposit). In honor of Lehman Brothers filing for bankruptcy, we give a minute to John West Salmon, which is owned Lehman Bros. I hear that in the past John West has used pretty rotten fishing techniques and are responsible for decimating the turtle and shark populations in their fishing grounds. And on that happy note, ENJOY!
No, it's not just the name of the second of two "Heroes" episodes premiering on Monday, it's also the principle I've fallen victim to. That is, of course, if you interpret it the way I do. As a result of the JSO's (see below) performance this week of Madame Butterfly, my ability to inundate the reader is somewhat diminished. By this I mean that updates this week will be perhaps not-so-frequent. And by not-so-frequent I mean if it happens it happens. Too many 16 hour days this week. I'm not complaining though, there are a shitload of people in Wasilla who probably have it worse.
Greetings all, this week finds me in sunny Mexico as I'll be performing Puccini's masterpiece Madame Butterfly with the Juarez Symphony Orchestra on September 27th at 8pm. This means I should probably start practicing...
Premiering February 17th, 1904 in La Scala, Milan, the opera wasn't seen stateside until the Metropolitan Opera held the American premier in 1907. The opera is listed as #1 on the list of Opera America's top 20 most performed opera's in North America.
Here's something to listen to while you read the synopsis, this aria is from the Second Act as we hear Cio-Cio San singing "Un Bel Di" (One Fine Day) to Suzuki, reassuring her that Lt. Pinkerton's ship will someday come and that they will be happy again. It is without a doubt the most popular aria in the opera, and you'll instantly recognize it.
Act 1
Lieutenant B.F. Pinkerton, a naval officer on the USS Abraham Lincoln in the port of Nagasaki marries Cio-Cio San (Japanese: Chōchō-san), or as she is known to her friends, "Butterfly", a 15-year-old Japanese geisha. The Matchmaker Goro has arranged the wedding contract and rented a little hillside house for the newlyweds. The American consul Sharpless, a kind man, begs Pinkerton to forget this plan, when he learns that Butterfly innocently believes the marriage to be binding. (In fact, both the marriage and the lease on the house may be canceled at short notice). The lieutenant laughs at Sharpless' concern, and the bride appears with her friends, joyous and smiling. Sharpless learns that, to show her trust in Pinkerton, she has renounced the faith of her ancestors and, therefore, she can never return to her own people. (Butterfly: "Hear what I would tell you"). Pinkerton also learns that she is the daughter of a disgraced samurai who committed seppuku, and so the little girl was sold to be trained as a geisha. The marriage contract is signed and the guests are drinking a toast to the young couple when the bonze, a Buddhist monk and the uncle of Cio-Cio San enters, uttering imprecations against her for having adhered to the foreign faith. The bonze's curses induce her friends and relatives to abandon her. Pinkerton, annoyed, hurries the guests off, and they depart in anger. With loving words he consoles the weeping bride, and the two begin their new life happily. (Duet, Pinkerton, Butterfly: "Just like a little squirrel"; Butterfly: "But now, beloved, you are the world"; "Ah! Night of rapture").
Act 2
Three years have passed following the end of Pinkerton's tour of duty and his return to the United States, after promising Butterfly to return "When the robins nest again." Butterfly's faithful servant Suzuki rightly suspects that he has abandoned them, but is upbraided for want of faith by her trusting mistress. (Butterfly: "Weeping? and why?") At this point, Cio-Cio San sings one of the most repeated arias in all of opera "Un Bel Di" (One fine day) to Suzuki, where she describes the day when Pinkerton returns to her on his White Ship. Meanwhile, Sharpless has been sent by Pinkerton with a letter telling Butterfly that he has married an American wife. Butterfly (who cannot read English) is enraptured by the sight of her lover's letter and cannot conceive that it contains anything but an expression of his love. Seeing Butterfly's joy, Sharpless cannot bear to hurt her with the truth. When Goro brings Prince Yamadori, a rich suitor, to meet Butterfly, she refuses to consider his suit, telling them with great offense that she is already married to Pinkerton. Goro explains that a wife abandoned is a wife divorced, but Butterfly declares defiantly, "That may be Japanese custom, but I am now an American woman." Sharpless cannot move her, and at last, as if to settle all doubt, Butterfly, proudly presents her fair-haired child. A stirring brass fanfare accompanies his introduction. "Can my husband forget this?" she challenges. Butterfly explains that the boy's name is "Sorrow," but when his father returns, his name will be "Joy." The consul departs sadly. But Butterfly has long been a subject of gossip, and Suzuki catches the duplicitous Goro spreading more. Just as things cannot seem worse, distant guns salute the new arrival of a man-of-war, the Abraham Lincoln, Pinkerton's ship. Butterfly and Suzuki, in great excitement, deck the house with flowers, and array themselves and the child in gala dress. All three peer through shōji doors to watch for Pinkerton's coming. As night falls, a long orchestral passage with choral humming (the "humming chorus") plays. Suzuki and the child gradually fall asleep - but Butterfly, alert and sleepless, never stirs.
Act 3
It is dawn and Butterfly is still intently watching. Suzuki awakens and brings the baby to her. (Butterfly: "Sweet, thou art sleeping.") Suzuki persuades the exhausted Butterfly to rest. Pinkerton and Sharpless arrive and tell Suzuki the terrible truth: Pinkerton has abandoned Butterfly for an American wife named Kate. The lieutenant is stricken with guilt and shame (Pinkerton: "Oh, the bitter fragrance of these flowers!"), but is too much of a coward to tell Butterfly himself. Suzuki, at first violently angry, is finally persuaded to listen as Sharpless assures her that Mrs. Pinkerton will care for the child if Butterfly will give him up. Pinkerton departs. Suzuki brings Butterfly into the room. She is radiant, expecting to find her husband, but is confronted instead by Pinkerton's new wife. As Sharpless watches silently, Kate begs Butterfly's forgiveness and promises to care for her child if she will surrender him to Pinkerton. Butterfly receives the truth with apathetic calmness, politely congratulates her replacement, and asks Kate to tell her husband that he must come in half an hour, and then he may have Sorrow, whose name will then be changed to Joy. She herself will "find peace." She bows her visitors out, and is left alone with young Sorrow. She bids a pathetic farewell to her child (Finale, Butterfly: "You, O beloved idol!"), blindfolds him, and puts a doll and a small American flag in his hands. She takes her father's dagger--the weapon with which he committed suicide--and reads its inscription: "To die with honour, when one can no longer live with honour." She takes the sword and a white scarf behind a screen, and emerges a moment later with the scarf wrapped round her throat. She embraces her child for the last time and sinks to the floor. Pinkerton and Sharpless rush in and discover the dying girl. The lieutenant cries out Butterfly's name in anguish as the curtain falls.
In case you need the lyrics, or translation, here they are. Give it another listen, it's pretty good stuff.
Translation of "Un bel di, vedremo" One good day, we will see Arising a strand of smoke Over the far horizon on the sea And then the ship appears And then the ship is white It enters into the port, it rumbles its salute.
Do you see it? He is coming! I don't go down to meet him, not I. I stay upon the edge of the hill And I wait a long time but I do not grow weary of the long wait.
And leaving from the crowded city, A man, a little speck Climbing the hill. Who is it? Who is it? And as he arrives What will he say? What will he say? He will call Butterfly from the distance I without answering Stay hidden A little to tease him, A little as to not die. At the first meeting, And then a little troubled He will call, he will call "Little one, dear wife Blossom of orange" The names he called me at his last coming. All this will happen, I promise you this Hold back your fears - I with secure faith wait for him.
Italian Text Un bel dì, vedremo levarsi un fil di fumo sull'estremo confin del mare. E poi la nave appare. Poi la nave bianca entra nel porto, romba il suo saluto.
Vedi? È venuto! Io non gli scendo incontro. Io no. Mi metto là sul ciglio del colle e aspetto, e aspetto gran tempo e non mi pesa, la lunga attesa.
E uscito dalla folla cittadina, un uomo, un picciol punto s'avvia per la collina. Chi sarà? chi sarà? E come sarà giunto che dirà? che dirà? Chiamerà Butterfly dalla lontana. Io senza dar risposta me ne starò nascosta un po' per celia e un po' per non morire al primo incontro; ed egli alquanto in pena chiamerà, chiamerà: "Piccina mogliettina, olezzo di verbena" i nomi che mi dava al suo venire. (a Suzuki) Tutto questo avverrà, te lo prometto. Tienti la tua paura, io con sicura fede l'aspetto.
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