Funny Picture of the Day - Why I missed so many questions in chemistry.

Here we are with the Periodic Table of Awesoments. Review it, memorize it, love it. Quiz on Monday.

Any suggestions on what they left out. It seems for the most part complete to me. I'm having a hard time bashing any one particular Awesoment.

Good stuff. Take a quick peek or click on the picture for the full on pic. Try not to get too overwhelmed with awesome.

WTF - Online Chat Assistance

Ok so we were shopping for our Christmas tree (the end result being this beautiful, authentic looking, flocked number, 1640 tips baby!). This last weekend we determined that a tree was necessary, not because Caitlyn is here (because lets face it, she's a baby and she won't remember shit), but because this year Christmas is at our house for Crystal's side of the family. Granted everyone does their own thing on Christmas Day, but for Christmas Eve it's a fun family gathering complete with a traditional southwestern feast unmatched anywhere. So since we'll be playing host to the social event of the season, we need a tree. Mind you we already had a tree, but it's a clearance item I got off the Internet for thirty bucks with no tax and free shipping. Crystal hates it. I think it's campy. It's about six feet tall, pre lit, and has fiber optics as well. It sits on a stand that rotates the tree while playing Christmas music (not the good kind, just the beepy electronic kind).

So anyway, I'm on the website trying to find out our local store hours because we were trying to accomplish all this with our holiday shopping on Sunday. I find the phone number for our local store and notice on the store hours list that it closes at 8pm. I call at 7:40 to find out if, what with the holidays and all, our store has seasonal hours which might have provided us with the time we would need to make the trip and pick up a tree. Much to my chagrin, the automated store answering system picks up and I go through the usual motions of pressing 1, then pressing 1, and then pressing 0. Because we all know it takes a minimum of three useless button presses to find out the most basic of information about a business.





Now where do I transform from a mild mannered whippet to Wendy? (see right, then google Wendy Whippet, I'm not doing the work for you, you lazy bastard)

I'll tell you when! When I jump through the obligatory hoops only to have the phone ring for 2 straight minutes with no answer. "A fluke" I think to myself. So I do it again, with the same sad end result.

Now at this point a friendly little chat window opens up on my screen. Ah yes, the online assistant, ready to help. For the most part I usually believe that these robotic little helpers are simply feeding me scripted answers based on the key words of my questions and responses. I'm still pretty sure this is true, but in this particular instance I was actually chatting with a live human. I know this because I was somewhat irate, and with the gift on anonymity on my side, I was not the least bit afraid to make this known. It all turned out pretty humorous, but remember my name was changed to protect the innocent.

Here is my conversation.... verbatim.

Chat InformationPlease wait for a product specialist to respond.

Chat InformationYou are now chatting with 'Ashley'

Ashley: Welcome to Home Depot. How may I assist you today?

Ricardo: Quick question Ashley... I'm calling my local store and though it is open, nobody is answering the phone. I am very upset about this, and would like some answers. Their number is (575)521-1327

Ashley: What time zone do you reside in?

Ricardo: Mountain.

Ricardo: They close at eight o'clock. I was calling at around seven forty. I just wanted to know their holiday hours.

Ashley: I'm not sure. They close at 8:00 P.M. on Sunday.

Ashley: I do not believe the hours change for the holiday hours.

Ricardo: It's not really a problem, I just don't know why nobody answers the phone during store hours.

Ricardo: If they're open they should answer.

Ashley: I'm sorry but I am not sure.

Ricardo: But apparently they are satisfied with not receiving our business.

Ashley: Again, I apologize for the local store not answering. You may wish to call customer care for local store issues and voice your concern. The number is 800-553-3199, option 5. They are open Monday-Friday from 9:00 A.M. -8:00 P.M Eastern time.

Ricardo: I know it's not your fault but it's a waste of both of our time to be in this situation. Why leave the customer sitting on the phone after pressing 1, then pressing 1, then pressing 0, only to have it ring for two minutes.... just a waste.

Ricardo: I see that customer care is open 9-8, does that mean THEY stop answering the phones at 7:40? If it does let me know now and save me the trouble.

Ashley: As I stated the customer care line is open Monday-Friday, from 9 A.M- 8 P.M. Easter time.

Ricardo: Easter time? Wait, I have to wait until Easter? That's just ridiculous....

Ashley: I'm sorry but I had already stated Eastern time prior. I'm sorry for the spelling error.

Ashley: Is there anything else I can assist you with?

Ricardo: Well, unless you can help me find a Christmas tree at a Home Depot that's open, then no. But thanks for the effort.

Ashley: I'm sorry but I do not have access to local store inventory.

Ashley: I hope you have a happy holiday and take care.

Ricardo: You've been a good sport anyhow, happy holidays Ashley.

Chat InformationChat session has been ended by the product specialist.

So there you go, a little venting can go a long way. And I think I may just develop a fondness for strange complaints to online chat assistance, it makes for good blogging. Anyway, you all take care, and I'll see you soon.

Jimmy

A Week in the Life - Lazyness is next to Godliness... I think that's how it goes.

I could fill you with a veritable mountain of reasons why it's been a week since I've updated. Perhaps I was travelling around the world (I wasn't). Maybe I was sleeping in for seven days straight (more likely). Or maybe, just maybe I was seriously jonesin' for some Cheez-Its™ (we have a winner!). But for whatever reason, c'est la vie.

In all actuality it was an action packed week filled with more excitement than Randy Savage in a dumpster full of Slim-Jims™. The Juarez symphony had it's holiday concert, a quick and painless performance of Tchaikowsky's Nutcracker Suite, plus a couple of pieces we play every year that are always crowd favorites. You'll remember Danzon No.2 by Marquez from the Las Cruces Symphony's performance of the same piece the week before. Aside from that we played Strauss' Radetzky March (with audience participation [see video]), and Offenbach's Orpheo Overture. Offenbach's piece is famous in that you hear it anytime you see someone doing the can-can (yeah, that song).

I've linked them to some YouTube videos of those pieces, I'd embed them, but I fill you up with too much classical music as it is.

In addition, we made it to the mall finally for the ritual that is THE SANTA PHOTO. So there we were in a crowded mall, waiting in line. We made our way up to check out the "mandatory" photo packages - no personal cameras without minimum package purchase mind you. So one 5x7 and 4 wallets = $24.99. Ouch. I can only compare it to the "Free" Child's admission at the travelling circus. Be it Shriner's or Ringling Bros. or Gatti's or whatever, there's always a stack of free child coupons at every convenience store and Chuck e' Cheese's within a 100 mile radius. The catch of course is that when you get to the circus you'll pay close to twenty dollars for an "adult" admission, and then get subsequently wallet-raped by concession prices akin to multiplying the cost of a soggy hot dog at a Yankees game with the cost of a warm shit-beer at a Metallica concert.

What I'm saying is that twenty five dollars is a bit much for a set of photos I can have in an hour from Walgreen's for under fifty cents. But hey, we're new parents, so cha-ching pseudo-Claus... cha-ching.

On Sunday, we were at the company Christmas party. Good food, horrible parking, and some time with friends. My sister was in town with the kiddies, so we spent the afternoon with them at the mall, finishing the evening up with some hot chai at Barnes and Noble.

Yesterday we finally set up our Christmas tree. I'll add some photos later with another holiday post to include Caitlyn's Santa photo (which is so saturated with cute that you can taste it).

So, more to come I assure you, and you won't have to wait very long for it either. Take care and enjoy the week, see you all sooner than later.

Jimmy

P.S. I won't play any video games until I post ... you happy now?

/shakefist